Treat her with the Best Company


proposal of Fatima

I recently attended a wedding, and as the rukhsati began (symbolically, when the wife leaves her parents house, to join her husband in her new home) I found the whole process emotional. This young woman was leaving the safety of her parents to join her husband. She prays he will treat her well, respect her, inspire her, and facilitate her. Her parents pray he will give her the care, concern, and love they did, and provide her with the opportunities they did not, and could not. She is leaving to join another family, with hopes they will treat her well, like their own. I’ve heard many stories, and it begins with managing expectations. Our expectations of each other should be respect, good treatment, and kindness. They can’t revolve around expecting another woman to fit within a mold that has been created for her.

I prayed for her, and I hoped she would be happy in her new home inshaAllah.

I turned around to my husband, and we discussed when I left my parents, and how some men and families don’t fully appreciate *everything* women leave behind. The security, the love, and ability to make mistakes, without feeling judged, or someone looking over their shoulder, especially if they live with their in-laws. For many, the only time they will experience empathy is when their own daughter leaves them, to begin her new life. He will miss the times she made tea for him countless times in a day, or how she would lovingly cook for him. He will miss the laughter, and reminisce the memories they shared together, as father and daughter.

A woman leaves so much behind, and this is one of the reasons the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) emphasised the importance of fulfilling the rights of your wife. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “Treat people the way you would love to be treated, and do not treat them the way you would hate to be treated.” Al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr, 15833 (Sahih). When you bring someone in your home, she has to be given the utmost respect, as we would want our own daughters to be treated.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) further emphasised how interference can cause harm, and this applies when other individuals interfere in marriages, whether they are family or friends, he said: “From the perfection of a person’s Islam is his leaving alone what does not concern him.” Sunan al-Tirmidhî and Sunan Ibn Mâjah.

Finally, the union of marriage is a beautiful bond, and the Messenger of Allah as a father advised ‘Ali, his future son-in-law how important his role was when he asked for Fatima (may Allah be pleased with them), he (peace be upon him) said, “She is yours if you treat her with the best company.” Al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr, 3490 (Sahih).

-Written by Alima Ashfaq

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Talk to Him


talk to Him

Never forget that ALLAH is your Friend – The BEST of all friends! He wants to hear what’s been happening in your life. Good or bad, whether it’s been full of happiness, sorrow or anger, or even when you want to question about the grief, sadness and worries in your life.

Go ahead, Go down in Sujood…TALK to HIM this very moment and notice the peace, relief and contentment fill up your heart! Feel that special sweetness of eeman which you get when you have that special connection with your Lord!

Imam Shawkani (rahimahuAllah) rightly said: “To know your dua’a is accepted is to have your heart ready, cry and shed tears to Allah, being persistent, and after that feeling, a burden taken off your shoulders.”

Let Him take care of you..


birds

“Do they not see the birds held in suspension in the midst of the sky? No-one holds them but Allah. Verily, in this are clear proofs and signs for people who believe.” [al-Nahl: 79]

I love the image portrayed in this verse; an image of birds floating and soaring through the sky, and then Allah gives us His Lesson: that none holds them up except Him. He is the One Who gives all of us our abilities in life, and He is the Sole Being who ‘holds us up’. Have you ever had those moments when you think a situation will no doubt crush you, only for you to make it through? Have you ever doubted your abilities only to find that somehow you triumph? Have you ever been so low and down, but in the end, Allah held you up?

The birds are an interesting example in the verse above. They are from the Signs of Allah which He has put in place for us to take lessons from. Just as He keeps them soaring above the ground, likewise He will keep you afloat of the troubles of this world. So let Him take care of you, and let go of those worldly things if they are anchoring you down. These are indeed Signs for those whose faith helps them see with basirah (insight).

-Ramadan Reflections by Fajr Blog